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Freshers, Flyers and Free Food

During the Edinburgh Fringe, Bristo Square is home to the E4 Udderbelly- a giant inflatable purple cow, which lies on its back with hooves and udders proudly pointing towards the sky.
     But in Freshers' Week it's populated by students- whether milling around between events and lectures and awkwardly forming flash-in-the-pan friendships in the daytime, queing for Potterow at night or, after a night at the SU, resembling the aforementioned cow, lying on their back with hooves and... well, you get the picture.
     And just as the Summer loves Tourists, so the Autumn loves Freshers. The ever-present flyerers of the Fringe have a new lease of life in the first few weeks of September as we are offered student discount cards, drinks promotions, club events, soc events, and even the odd chaplaincy meet-and-greet. The clever ones start their pitch with the word 'free'.
     "Free sweets!" (and a leaflet encouraging you to attend a Christian Discussion Session) "Free food!" (voucher when you purchase two drinks) "Free entry!" (to a club a half-hour walk from your halls)
     Still, it's a pretty good shout by the companies because impulsiveness is a student's main characteristic. We're also quirky, cheap, fickle, good free advertising if you woo us right and we're stuck in the same place for a good three or four years- but it's this impulsiveness that makes us perfect prey for companies and societies alike. I discovered this today at the Freshers' Fest at the Pleasance.
     After 2 hours' wandering past stall after stall and soc after soc, I found myself a member of four societies, £17 poorer, and holding a bag weighed down both with leaflets and with free sweets. And as such, I'm a classic example of a no-good free-loading student.
     There's no way I'll have time or the money to do all these things, spend all these vouchers or even eat all these sweets. I'm expecting a lot of emails from a lot of people I may have to casually avoid for a while. But one thing I am set on is writing- Bedlam's Fresher Slots sound increasingly promising, and the Edinburgh Revue lot are all very friendly.
          Who knows, maybe some day I'll be filling the Udderbelly instead of just impersonating it.

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